Pre-op over and counting down.

We had our pre-op appointment Monday 2/1 and it went as well as to be expected. I am very sad to think that pretty soon my baby will look different. I love his little bulby forehead and dented nose. We also had his blood work done this day and I feel so sad. I couldn't even stay in the room and comfort him because as soon as they started to wrap him up in order to keep him still I semi wigged out, tears, studder and all. Dad had to go back to work after the Neurosurgeon pre-op appointment so it was only me during the blood work and I couldn't even be supportive for my baby :( Sad, its definitely hitting me, I feel like this is all my fault. I know this is not the way I should be but how can I help it. My little buddy is small and I cant explain to him that we are doing this so that he will be socially excepted and have a better chance at life. I feel so numb. I feel horrible. I feel like its all my fault. Tomorrow is the big day.